domingo, 20 de julho de 2008

Value and valor

The sense of defining the value to yourself and to others is perhaps a large part of life and the direction that possibly alters our views of others and what we hope to acheive with work or conversation. Growing up, in a family that put huge emphasis on being humble and value others first and foremost, has left its mark on myself and my brothers, for my part I seem to have spent most of my life trying to understand my own value and the value I have to others, it is so much easier to take the opinion of others before your own but that lends itself to being used to boost the value of their life's deeds and deminish your own. There are always those that will gladly take others as steps for their own progress and not return the favour, judging confidence and progress is best made by yourself and then viewed against what others have done and not just said.
Work can be very much a means of self exploration or self deception, to push yourself beyond what feels comfortable can be a means of self exploration and acheivement, providing that it is not done as some competion with others or yourself, some how it is bound to failure if this is the case and have less value, it is better to not know the full extent of where you are going and that can allow you to move freer and with unusual gains. I have learnt that it is not always necessary to acheive large financial gains to get the reward of self enlightenment, the later is by far the most valuable and in some ways the most useful and lasting, not so easily lost once gained. it is the process of self value that gives others value and gives you valor.
I have for the last couple of years been with some small problem of vision, this had become worse and given over to bad headaches, it is now moved to me realising that i have the start, rapid start, of glaucoma and I am quickly noticing that I am now loosing sight, it is with a sense of humility and panic that is going through my mind at the present and not knowing if this is some thing that can be halted from progressing to blindness or at very best poorer eyesight, disturbing for one that makes his living as an artist and restorer and now that I have started into a relationship, to know what is right for the future?